[akuroku] I never minded being on my own ; til something broke in me and I wanted to go home

[eventuallea]

[ Time stopped that day.

From the very moment, the exact second a low voice rumbled out the word "missing" behind that familiar name, everything froze; if only for one person.

The rest of the Organization continued on with regularly scheduled business as usual from that point onward, as though something so pivotal was merely one of many agenda items to cover. There was no contingency plan; no rescue or recovery efforts. No one was even sent after him -- a fact which made at least one member bristle, as though that was a personal affront.

How they could all just move on, like nothing was wrong and everything was as it should be, was beyond him. Roxas wouldn't just disappear; wouldn’t just leave like that. And the fact that his cohorts seemed so entirely unconcerned with his disappearance left Axel questioning each and every one of them.

But, that was all ages ago now. Who even knew how long it'd been?

Axel did.

With no one tasked with finding their thirteenth member, he’d taken it upon himself -- most days, sunrise to sunset.

Everyone else may have moved on, but he somehow can’t. It’s a blockade he can’t get around; something the redhead simply can’t let go of. Others have called him moody, but those without hearts are ill-equipped for that. Really, he’s tired. Tired of feeling tired, too. Tired of not sleeping no matter how hard he tries, his restful hours turned into a series of catnaps, seemingly with one eye open, as though waiting for the moment he’ll hear those footsteps come down the hall again.

But they haven’t. For days now, they haven’t. And with each one that passes, Axel can see the world in lesser color, driven to do littler and littler. He hadn’t known he’d had hope to lose in the first place; and now... he feels more like the Nobody he rightly is than even he could have imagined.

His searching has become nothing more than mindless compulsion... and yet, he hasn’t stopped. ]

These overtime hours are killing me. [ He remarks, chakrams in his grasp rescinding back into nothing to allow him to stretch and rub at tired muscles.

Much as he’s sure the Organization appreciates the extra work he’s put in since Roxas’ disappearance, it’s not for their sake. In fact, he’d prefer they get no benefit from it at all, really. If they’re so content to label their thirteenth member missing and leave it at that, he thinks bitterly, why should they reap any reward from an effort they’re not putting forth?

Heaving a long sigh, Axel seats himself on the rooftop he’d been using as a lookout, despite turning this -- and countless other -- worlds completely upside down. (Honestly, he’s damn near memorized them all by now.) Up ahead is a distant, dwindling sunset, evaporating into shades of gray. Funny how that used to be something he’d admire, but now they’ve all lost their appeal. Their color, too. They don’t make him sad, of course -- he isn’t capable of that. But the desire to sit and enjoy them that he used to have is mysteriously absent.

A cool breeze kicks up, and he shivers despite himself, rescinding further into the confines of his coat. The season is changing, and it’s not getting any warmer. Plus, it’s nearly dark out now, so there’s little point in continuing the hunt here. He’ll have to turn in for yet another night, and try again tomorrow. In acknowledging that, it feels as though something weights him, sitting right on his chest. Axel breathes deeper to combat it, but it doesn’t relent; he can’t seem to make it. ]

I'll find you. [ he murmurs to no one and nothing as he pushes to his feet, a mere thought needlessly spoken aloud. ] Wherever you are, I’m going to bring you back.

Comments

[aboy]

[ When Roxas woke, he had no idea where he was or how much time had passed. The last thing he remembers is defending himself from someone who had managed to catch him off guard and then?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

At first, it's difficult to wake, his eyes feeling heavy and as if they wanted nothing more than to close right away again. At the same time, he feels an almost invisible pull of sorts and it's after a few moments of feeling that pull that he finally opens his eyes.

The sky is the first thing he sees, a watercolor of sunsets and birds flying overhead as a gentle breeze caresses his cheek. At first glance, it seems to be darkening and he wonders somewhere just what time it is.

It's the actual getting up part that is the most difficult for him and when he tries to initially, he collapses back against the ground, pain searing through his body and making him unable to move much. He glances to his side and can feel that there are bruises beneath his tattered cloak and he wonders just where else he might have some. His face is covered in cuts and dirt, his cloak torn here and there at the back and as he lifts a hand to his face, he can feel what he assumes is dry blood on his forehead and he blinks as he tries to recall what happened.

He recognizes where he is after a moment and with more trial and error, he finally managed to push himself up, though not without wincing as he does.

It takes him awhile to make it back towards the Organization, his steps slow and heavy, hand clutching at his side and his vision goes in and out at times with how tired he still manages to feel. For all he knows, he's been asleep for a week; it feels like it at least.

He has to stop once he makes it in view and he leans against the wall of a building, breathing heavy for a moment until he pushes himself up and continues with his slow movements. It's not that far now and he's sure if he keeps going without having to stop or stumble that he'll make it there. Already he can see rooftops and so he can't be that far now.

He can't be. ]